Do you consistently walk out of team meetings with your boss and mutter the words “what an A**” while you walk back to your work area totally de-motivated and wondering why the hell you put up with this nonsense? Do you feel like the only way you can get important information out of your boss is to beat it out of them because they hold it in like the worlds biggest secret just to f*** with you? Do you get your hand slapped for the most ridiculous things and worry that your job is in jeopardy?
If so, sorry about your luck. And you are not alone.
Your boss could be a micromanager, or just the occasional dick head, or both. We will dive into that first, and then we will focus on the more important question that you need to answer for yourself in the event that you are working for a micromanager – Can I handle working for a micromanager?
It’s simple, either you have the personality to work under a micromanager and should stop complaining and keep kissing that A** OR you should stop tolerating what you know you cant handle and respectfully get the hell out of the toxic environment before you get fired for beating some A**.
Let’s start with a few of the most telling traits, in my opinion, to help you identify a micromanager before we get into whether you can handle them or not.
CONTROL FREAK
One time we were in a team meeting and my boss asked me about an interview I had with an internal candidate. No biggie, right? Except he literally quizzed me in front of our whole team about each question I asked and wanted me to recite word for word what the interviewees answers were. He wanted to make sure I was asking the right questions, I guess? Mind you, I am more than capable and have done 1000 interviews in my day and he knows that.
I went into bitch face mode pretty fast and the team was shocked when my response in the meeting to him was “are you f****** serious right now?”
Don’t get me wrong, a leader is supposed to and allowed to ask questions about what is going on in their department. But if they have to know every little detail about everything you are assigned to do, it shows their need for control and worse – makes you feel their lack of trust for you.
SOLE DECISION MAKER
You made a decision about what color font you should put on a flyer and posted it WITHOUT your boss’s approval, how dare you!
This might be the most annoying characteristic. When every little thing has to go through your boss for approval, it is discouraging to say the least. Have you ever heard a coworkers say “doesn’t even matter because [insert d-head boss name] is going to change it anyway.” Yep, me too. Too many times.
I actually got some sort of sick satisfaction from defying this rule of my micromanager. I would purposely post things without approval and wait to see my coworkers responses (they thought I was crazy and I thought it was funny). I knew I could get a hand slap from him, but that felt better to me than getting his “approval” on formatting for a fricken gift exchange flyer.
MONITORING YOUR ACTIVITY
I change my mind, this is the most annoying characteristic of a micromanager.
A micromanager wants to know where their team is at all times. I had to include my boss in every single meeting invite, although he went to none of them. You may be thinking, being asked to put your boss on meeting invites so he knows what’s going on isn’t so bad, right? Okay, what about when you get back from said meeting and they question you for five straight minutes about where you were, who you were with, and why it took so long.
Do not dare ask to leave early even if you came in 2 hours before your normal shift started. If you do ask, be ready to play some type of mind games until they feel like they have enough control over the situation to release you.
I recently went in my boss’s office and said “Hey I am leaving, I was in early at 5:45 this morning.” He first criticized me for not ASKING him. He then stood there and went back and forth with me, accusing me of not coming in early. My annoyed response was to check the f****** cameras. He said he did check the cameras and I came in at 6:15. I am pretty sure I told him he must be smoking crack then because I was in at 5:45. He then played it off as a joke and I was released.
I wanted to shove the bag of donuts that he had on his desk right up his A**. Like, what the hell just happened….
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If you have identified having a micromanager, the question to yourself becomes, Can I handle working for a micromanager?
If you haven’t already gathered from my comments above, I, myself, cannot handle working for a micromanager. I lasted 13 months when I quit before I was terminated for not kissing his A**.
Here are a few things you should consider when answering this question:
WHO AM I AS A PERSON AND WHATS MOST IMPORTANT TO ME?
We all know how different each human is. What matters so much to me might mean literally nothing to the person sitting next to me.
You should understand what kind of person you are and what’s most important to you in order to understand what you will and will not tolerate in a workplace or boss.
I have a more assertive personality. I tend to express my opinion and show emotion outwardly. I take pride in my work ethic, and if you dare challenge me on that then you are officially on my s*** list.
The thing that is most important to me to have in a boss is trust. I am totally good with having to earn trust. But, if I prove my ability and show that my intent is good and you still don’t trust me to perform work, I am going to struggle immensely and the bitch faces will be frequent.
Trust is simply not something that micromanagers hand out. They keep it locked in like the rest of the impactful information that they should be doing something with. If they trusted you to take things and run with it, how would they maintain that control and power over decision making?
If you are more passive, you tend to keep your feelings to yourself. And, you may be ok with decisions being made for you.
If you think about the most important characteristics that you desire in a boss for you to be a happy and successful employee and they do not include trust, independence or any sort of openness then you may be more comfortable working for a micro-manager.
If you care less about the softer side of a boss and more about the praise and getting to the next level to get that $$$, you may be more comfortable conforming to the rules of a micro-manager.
STAGE OF CAREER
The thought I had over and over again during my tenure working under my micro-manager boss was this – I don’t HAVE to put up with this. I have all of the credentials to get another job and I have another 30 years to work. Why waste another minute under this horrible boss.
The thought of one of my counterparts differed from mine. Hers was this – I only have 6 more years before I retire. I am comfortable here and do not want to start over anywhere else. I will continue to play the game.
See, we both hated him as a boss, but because she was at a different stage in her career than me, she was able to change her mindset to not let the micro-manager details bother her. She played the game, and she played it well. She asked for permission to leave work, even if she had been there 12 hours. She called him “boss man” to stroke his ego and made sure to run everything by him, even the littlest of things. She was content doing that, because what value would it add if she wasn’t? She knows she doesn’t want to go anywhere else so might as well keep the peace.
Point being, if you are in a situation where you are settled in your career and done making moves, try to find a way to handle it. Change your mindset, take a happy pill, whatever you need to do.
If you are in a situation where you can make a plan to leave, make it, NOW. Do not wait. I will tell you from experience it will only end badly the longer it goes on.
All the best,
The Unprofessional HR Lady